


Binky Smithers, Custodian of SHIELD

by riani1



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-07 22:42:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1916700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riani1/pseuds/riani1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Janitors go everywhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Binky Smithers, Custodian of SHIELD

Binky Smithers, Custodian of SHIELD

 

Janitors go everywhere.

We have the keys to all the doors.

A favorite undercover role is the poor schmuck pushing the cart with the cleaning bottles and mops and toilet paper.

Natasha Romanov spent a week shadowing me when she first showed up. Smart woman. I know she does an annual personal "audit" of the Facilities department, who's here, and what we're up to. I've lost count of the times I've heard Barton slithering through the vents near me, and the rest of the staff bitch about the dirt he knocks through the grates. A good sharp smack of a mop handle end onto an exposed conduit is good for a swear and a laugh.

They're the only two agents who apparently think that shadowy people who go everywhere might be a threat.

Directors don't count as agents, to my mind. And Coulson isn't here anymore. Though there are rumors . . .

You know, even giant hangers where they build secret flying aircraft carriers need someone to stock the toilet paper. Not everything can be done with cleaning bots, not in a world with Tony Stark in it.

The Facilities department weekly staff meetings are done behind three locked doors, under Stark-grade electronic surveillance counter-measures--we always start meetings with "Hi, Jarvis!", just in case, he's the ultimate Facilities guy--and it's not uncommon for Fury to pop his nose in. Coulson came once a month.

Every two months there's the meeting of the Facilities Managers SHIELD-wide, teleconferencing in from all the installations where there's a dedicated staff of people cleaning up after other people. Some people call it gossip, we call it "discussing the unique challenges encountered at The Triskellion/The Fridge/The Sandbox/The Toaster Oven/The Random Kitchen Appliance of your choice." You can decide for yourself if The Toaster Oven is a joke.

I have a Doctorate in Mechanical Engineering from MIT. I was there when Tony Stark appeared, the little shit. That degree has not gone to waste. I've also got two black belts, in karate and tai chi, and I'm qualified in most small arms. The cleaning carts all have weapons stashed on them--yes, even on the helicarrier. Barton told his goons to target the janitors, if found.

There's another thing I've got--a private, undocumented comm that goes directly to Fury and vice versa.

The last time he called was after Coulson was declared dead.

"I hear Facilities lost four people up here, Binky. I'm sorry."

"Barton knows what we do, sir. Our bad luck Loki nabbed him."

"I don't think luck had anything to do with it. I need to move some people around, Binky. Off the books and on."

"How many, sir?"

"You tell me. The Bus facility is, praise Odin, going to need beefing up. And the various Koenigs need company." 

"You know they don't like company. They don't like giving my people lanyards."

"The Koenigs have had their lanyard policy clarified for them. Find out which of your people like isolation. Gamers a plus."

"Yes, sir."

"How's the plumbing?"

"Still seeing deterioration. I think we're looking at work with the snake. Multiple snakes."

"Fuck," Fury muttered. "Don't stick your fingers into any holes where they'll get bit, Binky. I don't want to have to break in a new Facilities Manager."

"I like my fingers, sir. I'll send you a report on the personnel."

"Right. Fury, out."

In Facilities, our job is to keep things clean, to make sure it all runs smoothly. We clean up messes and try to prevent messes from happening. The job title is Custodian. SHIELD is in our care.

**Author's Note:**

> A story came to mind, a character strolled by in the background. Character was intriguing.
> 
> I'm hoping the bigger story is still viable after some real life upheavals.


End file.
